Thursday, July 30, 2009

Maikli Lang. Seriously.

Ang hirap mag-hanap ng gift para sa lalake. o_O

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Ode to Bryan

The first time I saw you, you were a member of the Bosconian Team in the Pautakan we held at UA. Back then I was too busy abhorring your cocky schoolmate so I told myself that I would shrug you off as another cocky Bosconian, just like most of the others who came before you.

And I did.

The second time I saw you, you were already trying to be a part of the family I call Aguman. You were with your buddy, my batch mate Trish, who back then had issues with her buddy mem taking in a new buddy app. I took Trish’s side, having issues of my own with my Budd’s new buddy, and told her that because of that I would not be mean to you.

And I was not.

The third time I gave a lot of thought about you, you were a candidate to become the org’s next treasurer, the opponent of one of the men I looked up to the most. I usually go for the ones who have been tested and proven, but you had a light in your eyes that made me want to give you my trust.

And I did.

The fourth time you meant something to me, you were being pronounced the org’s new treasurer. By that time my belief in you wanted to falter because you seemed like you did not really want the responsibility you were given. I looked up at the stars and prayed that I would not have to regret my decision of letting you succeed the noble service of Justin Dungca.

And I have not.

By the time we sat beside each other in that dirty corner at the photocopying center in San Fernando, you meant more than another cocky Bosconian, my batch mate’s buddy app, a candidate for an execoun position and the org treasurer.

You meant the tutor who patiently taught me how to play pusoy.
You meant the boy from Apalit who did door-to-door at various establishments in Angeles and San Fernando for CEER funds.
You meant treasurer who always made sure that he had something to give to every committee that said it needed funds.
You meant the new mem who did things for the org so dedicatedly that one would think you’ve been a part of this family your whole life.
You and your batch meant a standard, almost something to be jealous about because I wish my own batch was like yours – my batch should have been like yours - but it isn’t.
And more importantly, you and your selfless service was an inspiration that urged me to stand up and for the first time really do something for this family.

And I did.

Now, after everything you’ve done for our family, I can earnestly say that you are worthy of earning my respect.

And you have.

“Ate Nic, ang hilig mo sa ode, no?”

“Haha, hindi naman, mejo lang.”

“Bakit yung ode ni Kuya Kevin pabilog? Dahil ba bilugin sya?”

“Haha! Hindi naman bilugin si Kevin e. He’s... beefy.”

“Okay, sabi mo e. Haha!”

“Hayaan mo, next week igagawa kita ng ode.”

“Wag na.”

“Wag na ka jan. Basta igagawa kita ng sarili mong ode. Yung hindi payat.”

And I did. ^_^

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

mi car was hit by a bus. :(


July 25, 2009. Right after I dropped off the Agu-apps and fetched my sister at Rob.

My car being the smaller vehicle and being less experienced than the bus driver, I thought it was my fault, but my dad and more importantly the police said that it was the bus driver who was at fault. (Whew!) The area after the gas tank got dented because the bus’s right front wheel rammed into it, (sob. :’[ ) but at least no one got hurt.

The bus driver was a kind man who promptly apologized. To my surprise, my dad asked him only one thousand pesos as payment for the damage and even requested the police to let the accident go off record. Bus drivers don’t get paid much and he might even get fired if the management learns that he hit a vehicle, my dad said, and since the driver was nice he didn’t want to hassle the man further.

I informed only close relatives, a few friends in Pampanga and three of my Aguman superiors (The King, The President and The Boss), but so many people still called and sent text messages. Thank you to all the beautiful people who expressed their concern (hugs to my blood relatives and Agufamily), and to everyone who helped out, especially Andy Lao.

Oh, and I can’t not tell you about the wonderful policeman who assisted us. After everything was sorted out, my dad pulled out a bill from his wallet and gave it to the policeman, saying “Kahit pang-meryenda lang” but the policeman just smiled and refused to take it.

Will I ever drive again? Believe it or not, right after the accident, my dad insisted that I drive the car back home. He said the accident was not my fault so I shouldn’t feel like I’m not a capable driver. He even said that it’s time for me to get behind a different wheel – so the next day he let me drive the Civic SIR Ferio.

The Corolla’s gonna be repainted sometime this month, and because I have issues with the Civic’s clutch, acceleration and steering (and trust me, you don’t want to be driving a ride you have issues with), looks like I’m not gonna be behind a wheel for the next couple of weeks. But as Suni Clay put it in my favorite NFS Most Wanted Soundtrack -

"I’ll be here soon, to a hood near you." ^_^

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Ode to Kevin

Sometimes I feel like I know you
enough to know when you’re in a good mood so
I can goof around with you and when you’re in a bad mood
so I have to shut up and go away but you always end up proving me
wrong because when I expect you to be boastful you take credit away from
yourself and when I expect you to stand your ground you wallow in self-pity
and doubt yourself and it makes me think if I do know you as much as I assume
I do but at the end of the day I tell myself that fine maybe I don’t know you
that well and I don’t know why you act that way and maybe I’ll never know
you as well as other closer people do and maybe I’ll never know why you
act that way but what I do know is that you have my respect and my
trust because you earned it and as long as I believe that you’re
doing what you think is right and what you think is best
you will never really be alone like you say you are –

Because I’m here for you. ^_^

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Ode to Baskal



"I'm not the easiest person to love...


I'm often the one who lets things go unresolved...


Yet you chose to be on the side of me... on the side of me...


Cause everyone needs a friend to hold

When it's cold outside and there's no place to go


Everyone needs a friend to hold

All alone I cried, there was no place to go


I remember when nobody cared...

I remember when nobody cared...


Nobody cared... but YOU."
-On the Side of Me, Corrine May

Friday, July 17, 2009

Thomas,

Naiyak ako kanina.

Nung tinanong ni Boss kung bakit, sabi ko hindi ko alam. Baka mood swing, first day ko kase ngayon. Mukhang nakumbinsi ko naman siya dahil hindi na nasundan ang tanong niya. Pero sa totoo lang, alam ko naman na isa ka sa mga dahilan kung bakit ako naiiyak.

Dumaan ako sa tambayan nyo kanina. Uuwi na dapat ako pero sabi ko sa sarili ko hihintayin ko nalang si Boss sa tambayan namin.

Sarili ko lang naman ang niloloko ko e. Bumalik ako sa AS para sayo.

Nandon ka sa tambayan nyo, pero si Joseph ang kinausap ko. Ayaw kitang kausapin, ni ayaw kitang tignan. Pero syempre, pwede ba naman yon, e ikaw nga ang pinunta ko don. Napigilan ko ang sarili ko na kausapin ka, pero hindi ko napigilang tignan ka. Isang segundo lang, tinignan kita.

At wala akong nagawa kundi ipikit ang mata ko at humarap ulit kay Joseph nung nakita kong nakatingin ka din sakin. Blanko.

Bakit ba kasi nung kasama kita lagi kitang inaaway. Ngayong hindi na tayo magkasama, gusto naman kitang lapitan. Ang gulo ko rin e.

Nagpaalam ako kay Joseph at bumalik ako sa tambayan namin. Sakto, saglit lang dumating na si Boss. Sa totoo lang gusto kong mag-attend ng Genmeet, pero pinilit ko siya na umuwi na kami sa kanila. Wrong idea na bumalik sa AS para makita ka, nadepress lang ako dahil hindi tayo nag-uusap at kasalanan ko kung bakit. Baka maiyak na talaga ako pag nakita pa kita ngayong araw na to at hindi na naman tayo nag-usap.

Akala siguro ni Boss excited akong gumawa ng Aslag kaya pumayag siya. Hinila ko siya agad palabas ng AS para hindi na kita makita, pero nung nasa gitna na kami ng walkway naalala ko na naiwan ko sa tambayan namin ang payong ko. Syempre binalikan namin.

At sakto namang nung lalabas na kami ulit ng AS, papasok ka naman.

At sakto naman sinakop ng Psych Soc at Pugad Sayk people ang daan.

At sakto naman nagkasalubong pa tayo.

Diretso lang ang tingin ko kahit nung nagkabanggaan na tayo. Kunwari ako parin yung Nic na kasama mo noon, at kunwari ikaw parin yung Baylis na kasama ko noon. Kunwari wala paring nagbago, except na meron na nga.

At parang pinaparamdam talaga sakin ng taas na ako naman ang may kasalanan dito dahil kailangan talaga ang kantang tumugtog sa playlist ko ay Just Go. There's nothing inside me that still feels connected to you, to me you're already gone.

Sinabi ko kay Mike na umalis na kami para hindi na kita makita at para hindi na ako maiyak.

Pero nakasalubong pa rin naman kita.

At pagdating sa 34G, umiyak pa rin naman ako.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Ode to Thomas

Don't tell me
That I have to see you everyday.
You're graduating this year
And I don't want you to be
Another Rafael Solis.

And I try to walk away but I keep telling myself You're the one for me Cause this love is so contagious it keeps pulling me in We were meant to be and I can't leave you So we're right back in the water Right back in the water

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Venting Out.

Poultry Boy,
Let me just remind you, sir, that WE don’t revolve MYSELF around YOU.



Over Sigma AijCij,
If I were you I wouldn’t be assuming and I wouldn’t be FC. I play the affiliation card but by now you should have realized that the truth is we don’t have a personal connection at all.


Romeo,
Stop making me stare at you because Fidel Nemenzo is the only guy I should be staring at during STS. And when you lean back, make sure that I don’t see your nape because it’s
beginning to remind me of my Math 17 prof’s.

Did I tell you that I wanted – still want – to sink my teeth into his nape?


Today’s a mood-roller coaster day. I started out so bibo, felt depressed during lunch time, fell in love early in the afternoon, got pissed off later in the afternoon and finally crashed and burned when I got home.

I don’t know who to blame – myself for being so moody, my coming period for the hormonal imbalance, my Econ 106 for making me stay up all night or the people around me for being themselves.

Looks like I need a lot of food, a long night of sleep and a good episode of Sons of Anarchy.

I hope tomorrow’s better.

Monday, July 13, 2009

My Dreams Just Got A Little Weirder

I’ve been having this weird, recurring dream of giving neckties away for some weeks now.

The first one happened over a month ago. I dreamt that I and Justin Dungca were in front of Econ and I told him “Kuya may bibigay ako sayo.”, handing him a diagonally striped blue and dark blue necktie. He took it, and then I woke up.

I shrugged the dream off because I knew that Kuya Justin liked neckties, often telling us that he wants to buy a necktie or will somebody please give him a necktie. I thought that maybe my subconscious just ‘liked’ that trivia and decided to make a dream about it.

Over a week after that, I had exactly the same dream – the setting was also in front of Econ, I also gave a guy a necktie and I also woke up after he took it. Except that now the guy was Rex Dizon.

Does Kuya Rex fervently declare that he likes neckties just like Kuya Justin does? No, he doesn’t. In fact, I don’t think Kuya Rex and I have ever talked about neck ties before.

The third time I had this dream was a handful of days ago. Again, the setting was the same, I said the same “Kuya may bibigay ako sayo” line and I woke up after he took the tie. This time the guy was Kevin Penalba.

Does Kevin like neckties? Not sure. The only time a necktie had been involved in a conversation between he and I was going to Trinoma before the lantern parade last year. I went to 75Mat wearing a gray coat top that he said would look cuter if I wore a tie.

Last night I had that weird dream again. Except that now it’s even weirder.

This time the guy I gave a tie to was Francis Del Valle, a former classmate in a Political Science elective. If I remember right, he’s a sociology major and his ID number starts with 2006 so he must be a year older than I am.

I find it weird that he got my latest necktie because unlike the earlier recipients, who I can at the least call my friends, (more appropriately, my brothers in blood and candlewax as Ate Jean puts it. ^_^) the closest that Francis and I had ever been with each other was that one time we sat beside each other for an hour at Sir Arlegue’s class.

In fact, I don’t even think we’ve spoken a proper sentence directly addressed to each other. See, we usually sit at opposite ends of the room. The only reason why I know his name, course and student number is because he recited often and the attendance sheet had our student numbers and courses in it. That having been said, there is no need to say that I have not the slightest idea what Francis thinks about neckties.

It gets even weirder. For the first time, I did not wake up after Francis took the necktie. Instead he told me that we should drop by 51Mat. (51Mat is my budd Jen’s house. Does anyone in 51Mat know Francis?) So we rode a jeep and halfway to 51Mat I told him that I needed to buy something at Ministop. I bought a box of tissues (although I didn’t know why) and wanted to pay for it with a credit card but the cashier said that something was wrong with my card.

Suddenly Francis was screaming at the cashier like crazy, saying something along the lines of “If she wants it then you should as hell give it to her!”. It shocked me to hear him say that because he doesn’t really look like the type who bitches ears off. I was about to tell him to knock it off when I finally woke up.

I don’t know why I keep on having these weird recurring dreams any more than I know what they mean. (Although my very supportive pusoy tutor Bryan says I might become a necktie salesperson) I searched the net for meanings of dreams about neckties but I couldn’t find an entry about giving away neckties.

I guess the only thing I could do is wait for the next dream, eh? ^_^

Friday, July 10, 2009

Suko Na. :'(

Suko Na.

Every night you cry yourself to sleep
Thinking ‘Why does this happen to me?
Why does every moment have to be so hard?”

- I Won’t Go Home Without You, Maroon5


If it’s going to be over, might as well make it tonight.
I guess we’ll never make things right no matter how many chances we give to try.
We’re not going to make it, not tonight, not ever.
Right now I just want to go home – without you. :’(

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Dumbfounded.

YM conference while chatting with Kuya Rex kahapon.

mike gulapa: THREE: DAPAT GUMAGALAW YUNG TAG BOARD! MAG TAG KAYO, GUMAWA KAYO NG ISSUE MANGOKRAY KAYO KAHIT ANO! BASTA DAPAT MAKITA KO YUNG MGA PANGALAN NYO DON!

inoue_shiranui: i can’t believe you gave that for an example. seriously. ^_^ (shows the statement to jrl_dizon)

jrl_dizon: pwedeng mang-okray? yey!

As much as I am already dumbfounded by my boss’s bold (literally and figuratively) statement, I find that I am even more dumbfounded by the fact that I’m actually liking Rec and Pub work a lot. ^_^

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Forever in the UP AGUMAN I Will Belong

Sa mga ganitong oras nagpapasalamat ako na naging member ako ng pinaka the best na org sa buong mundo. ^_^

***

Minsan hindi ako makapaniwala kung gano kabilis ang panahon. Parang nung isang araw lang kami yung pinag-aacquaintance. Ngayon batch mate ko na ang IVP at sya na ang head sa pagpeprepare ng event.

“Trish, dito ka saglit.” Sabi ko sa kanya nung finally nakita ko syang walang ginagawa. Pumunta kami sa isang sulok ng room, tas niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit.

“I’m so proud of you. I’m so proud of everything you’ve done. I’m so proud that you’re my batch mate.”

And really, I was.

Niyakap din niya ako, tas nakita ko naiiyak na siya. “Thanks Nic. Thanks talaga. I love you batch mate.” ^_^

***

Pag may alumni na dumarating sa events ng org, I feel so proud. Parang, ang sarap ng feeling na maging part ng something na nandito na bago pa ako ipanganak, at ang sarap ng feeling na alam kong tinutuloy ko ang legacy nila.

Ang sarap ng feeling na alam mong you’re part of something that will live on.

***

Nakita ko siyang mag-isa dun sa may window. Dala-dala yung giant teddy bear ni Budd, nilapitan ko siya.

“Kuya, hindi na kita nakikitang hindi naka-ear phones.” Sabi ko.

Tumawa siya.

Ngumiti ako tas bumalik nako sa seat ko. Nasabi ko na ang gusto ko, at sana naiintindihan nya. Alam ko na maiintindihan nya. ^_^

***

Pinapanood ko siya habang pinakikinggan ka niyang magsalita. Sayo lang siya nakatingin at ikaw lang ang pinakikinggan nya. Naka-smile sya, obvious na masaya sya.

At kahit wala ka pang masyadong napapatunayan, alam ko na proud sya sayo.

Ako din. ^_^

***

“Boss, congrats!” sabi ko. Tinaas nya ang kamay niya at nag-high five kami.

Dati naiisip ko kahit kailan hindi ako magiging full member ng kahit anong ibang committee; para sakin educ pa rin ako. Haha, first love never dies ang drama. Para sakin, educ kase ang dahilan kung bakit ako nasa org na to.

Pero everytime nakikita ko kung gano ka-dedicated ang head namin sa bagong committee ko, nag-iiba ang isip ko. After all, a first love is special, but oftentimes something comes along that you learn to love more.

Kahit wala na ako sa educ, hindi ko tinalikuran ang dahilan kung bakit ako nasa org na to.

Nagkaroon lang ng isa pang dahilan kung bakit ako nandito.

Ako ay proudly Rec and Pub.

***
Ako po si Nic, Baskal 07-A. FOREVER in the UP AGUMAN I will belong. ^_^
 

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