Friday, January 28, 2011

Ode to Pauline

By now, it has become somewhat like a routine. I would walk back to Kamia after my Geography class, and about the same time I get out of AS, a maroon Ford Ranger would be parking in front of Bio.

By now, it has become somewhat like a routine. I would continue walking back to my dorm while Max steps out of the Ranger. A girl, who I suppose would be Bea, would soon follow; Max would have his hand on her shoulder as they walk towards the building that I just got out of.

By now, it has become somewhat like a routine. Max would see me and I would see him, and for a moment we would look somewhere else - him at Bea and I at my watch - and pretend that we didn’t see each other. It’s not until we’re just a few steps in front of each other that we would actually acknowledge one other.

By now, it has become somewhat like a routine. “Hey,” Max would say. “Hi, Max.” I would reply. Sometimes we’d wave at each other, other times a nod would suffice. I told you, I was never really against Max. I even told you once that he was nice, remember? And I swear, that has nothing to do with the fact that he is Solis’ fraternity brother.

By now, it has become somewhat like a routine. I would immediately look away again, and Max would draw Bea closer. I never talk to Bea. I never even look at Bea. Sometimes I wonder if she asks Max who I am afterwards, and sometimes I wonder what Max says.

By now, it has become somewhat like a routine. I’d think of you as I draw closer to my dorm. Sometimes I fish my phone out of my pocket and send you a message, but I never tell you about Max or Bea – edit – Max and Bea – because it doesn’t feel right. I’d think about how you might be doing now, back in Davao. I think about what might happen when you come back next semester and it’s your turn to see Max and Bea.

By now, it has become somewhat like a routine. I’d reach my room, put my bag on the table and plop on the bed. I would tell myself to stop thinking about you and Max and Bea. I mean, in all fairness to you, it’s not my problem that you fell for that guy and you fell for him a bit too hard. In all fairness to Max, he’s still nice to me despite the fact that the only reason why we know each other is because you used to be together – wait, you were never together because he didn’t want a commitment, right, so let’s change that to because he used to fuck you. In all fairness to Bea, I know her only from the stories you tell so I shouldn’t really judge.

By now, it has become somewhat like a routine. I would stare at the ceiling and remember what I told you in the letter I gave you before you left two summers ago. “I don’t want to be your friend anymore,” I told you bluntly. “I don’t want a friend who knows me only when she needs a shoulder to cry on because she and Max had a fight, and completely takes me for granted otherwise.”

By now, it has become somewhat like a routine. And I realize that no matter how I tell myself that I have no business thinking about the hurt you might feel if you see them when you come back next sem, it doesn’t really work. I’m still worried for you.

By now, it has become somewhat like a routine.

I guess I still care for you.

I guess you’re still my friend.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Ode to Lawi

Bilang lagi kang naglu-lurk sa Agu-blogs at di pa kita nagagawan ng ode.

legolas pwned Templar Assassin’s head for 260 gold! Assist: fayul
legolas pwned Shadow Fiend’s head for 255 gold! Assist: fayul
legolas has double kill!
legolas pwned Witch Doctor’s head for 255 gold! Assist: fayul
legolas has triple kill!
legolas is godlike!

“Wait, anong nangyari?!” she exclaims, moving closer to the computer screen in confusion (The effects of Mjollnir and Hyperstone in the inventory at the same time, apparently.) “Hindi pa man ako nakakapag Laguna Blade!”

“Triple kill ka na.” he informs her calmly.

And then he turns exasperatedly to the guy next to him. “Dana, tinangke ko lahat yon.”

“Hoy.” She says, poking his leg.

He does not move. His shoulders just slouch a little lower, his back against one of the columns at AS steps. He won the vice-presidency of their organization merely a few minutes ago, so you’d think that he could be in a better mood.

But he is not. He just clutches his silent phone tighter and stares off to some distance that only he knows about – some distance far, far away that only he will ever know about.

She offers him a smile as she sits down next to him. “Wag ka nang sad. Girls don’t buy gifts for strangers. When a girl buys you a gift, it means you’re special.”

He looks up at her. His eyes are as hollow as… she doesn’t know. Hallow blocks?

“Kainis kase e…” he mutters.

She shrugs. Oh well. Boys will be boys.

“Yun nga yung gusto kong sabihin, binigay ko sayo yon kaya bakit mo ibibigay sa kanya?” her orgmate says… well, not exactly grudgingly, but yeah, somewhat grudgingly.

“Kase hiningi nya. Yun lang naman ang binigay ko, I kept everything else di ba?” she replies… well, not exactly defensively, but yeah, somewhat defensively.

Her orgmate sighs. “Hindi lang naman yon e. Akala ko close na tayo tapos bigla mong sasabihin na hindi tayo close.”

“Para sakin hindi naman talaga tayo close that time e.” she shoots back.

“Ganito kase,” He suddenly interrupts the… uh, for the lack of a better word, conversation. He puts on the Listen-To-Me-Because-For-Once-I’m-Actually-Serious-About-This face as he turns to her and says, “Di ba sabi mo sakin pag binigyan ka ng regalo, ibig sabihin special ka?”

She glares at him incredulously. Oh no you didn’t just shoot me with my own gun.

“Ah eto si Lawi, feeling ko magaling ang vocabulary nito.” Their senior orgmate says with a smirk. “Fellatio?”

“Blowjob.” He answers correctly.

“Coitus interruptus?”

“Interruptus… withdrawal.”

“BDSM?” she cuts in.

“Uh, alam ko yan!” their elfin orgmate exclaims. “Bondage, Dominance, Sadism…”

“Mali!” she says gleefully. “Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, ”

“ – Dominance, Submission, Sadism, Masochism.” He finishes for her. “Ba’t alam mo?”

“Nag PanPil 19 ako.” She answers. And then it’s her turn to ask. “Ikaw, ba’t alam mo?”

He grins. “Kakasearch sa net.”


He just grins.

“What the – ” he says when the car suddenly comes to a halt.

Right in the middle of a rice field in Magliman.

“Shit.” She says as she gets out of the car only to horribly find out that the right back tire had fallen into a trough, leaving them stuck in a freakin’ rice padde in the middle of… somewhere.

Good thing two kind-hearted farmers approach them and help them out. They do their best push the car while instructing her to drive just with enough speed and force to get the wheel out of the gutter, which she almost fails to do because it takes her a good few seconds to realize that revving on the engine will not do anything when the stick is in neutral. Still, it doesn’t take too long before everything is okay again.

He gets back into the car, slamming the door as he closes it.

“What?” she asks.

He stares off at the miles and miles of green rice paddies in front of them. “Dana, pati ba naman sasakyan diniditch ako?!”

She laughs as she steps into the gas pedal and drives off.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Secondhand Listerine

“Stop it.” She snaps irately, brows furrowing together as she pulled her bag’s zipper close.

“Stop what?” he asks, though he very well knows what she means. After all, only three things in this world annoy her enough for her to demand that they stop – the self-righteous rants and raves of that Paul guy from her PI 100 class, guy (meaning porn) talk, and foot tapping. (The last partly because a perverted orgmate once told her that foot tapping is a form of masturbation.)

“Tapping your foot. It’s annoying.” (See, he was right.)

He shrugs. “I’m bored.”

“That’s not my problem.” She retorts.

“Have any entertainment ideas?” he asks, determined to annoy her since he had begun to do so without meaning to and was really bored, anyway.

“Do I look like a TV to you?” came the answer, voice laced with annoyance.

“You don’t have to be bitchy.” He shoots back, feigning an offended expression.

“I am not bitchy.”

“Yes, you are.”

“You’re acting imbecilic.”

“You didn’t just say that.”

“Oh, but I did. And – ”

Thud. An “Ow!” follows as he knocks her back against the wall, hard enough to bruise.

“What the –” she groans, but she suddenly shuts up because she realizes that he is suddenly close. Too close.

“Told you you just didn’t say that.” He says conceitedly, lips curling into a grin as he slowly draws his face closer to hers.

She swallows weakly, throat as dry as her chapped lips, while wondering where the hell all her bitchiness went to. Out of her mouth and into his ego, apparently. This is one of his games, the brat is keeping himself amused again. He may have caught her off guard, but she’s not one to give control up easily, sorry.

She smirks as she looks at him straight in the eye. Two can play this game and she is calling his bluff.

His grin widens when he sees her smirk, and he continues to close the distance between their faces. Boy, isn’t this better than bantering? He can feel the warmth of her heavy breath as the few inches that keep them apart shrink to centimeters –

“Yeah here we go for the hundredth time, hand grenade pins in every line. Throw em up and let something shine, goin’ out of my fucking mind...”

Linkin Park’s Bleed It Out suddenly fills the air as something vibrates on the table nearby. Incoming call alert.

She looks down at her ringing phone on the table. The caller does not appear to be registered in her contacts and she can only see its first few digits (0-9-1-7-8-8-1… is that next number a 7?) but she recognizes it anyway. It must be another one of her perverted former orgmates.

She turns her eyes on him again, and her skin almost tingles as she feels his breath on her nose.

“Aren’t you… gonna to take that?” he drawls haughtily, pulling back so she could have a bit more space to move through in case she did take the call.

She lets out a soundless breath of relief for the newfound space and then bites her lip down as she thinks. The phone continues to ring, but she ignores it and just keeps staring at him, wanting oh-so desperately to wipe that grin off his face. If it is indeed her former orgmate, he’s just going to ask if she wants to meet up for coffee. She’d just call her former orgmate tomorrow and make up some story about why she didn’t answer.

She smirks at him again. “That guy’s gonna ask if I want to go to Starbucks, but I’m really in the mood for an almond mocha right now.”

Because this afternoon, she’s craving for the taste of second-hand Listerine.

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