forgetful
I told him that we're not in a good place and lately I'm finding it hard to truly be happy. That we're too different and our differences in beliefs and opinions are taking their toll on me. That I hate when he says he's wrong or changes his mind about something just so we don't have to argue over it. Not long ago I would've felt kilig to know that a guy changed his mind because of me, but not anymore. Now I know that I can't change anyone. For change to be real, it has to be something they want for themselves, not something they're doing for someone else.
i went to therapy because i wanted to fix my relationship
I told him that we're not in a good place and lately I'm finding it hard to truly be happy. That we're too different and our differences in beliefs and opinions are taking their toll on me. That I hate when he says he's wrong or changes his mind about something just so we don't have to argue over it. Not long ago I would've felt kilig to know that a guy changed his mind because of me, but not anymore. Now I know that I can't change anyone. For change to be real, it has to be something they want for themselves, not something they're doing for someone else.
He said okay, and told me he'll pick me up after therapy and we can have lunch.
Therapy was supposed to be an hour-long session from 11am to 12pm, but I had too many things to say and my therapist was kind enough to be flexible with time. We ended at 12.45pm.
I saw him when I got down to the clinic's lobby. He fell asleep waiting for me. Knowing his penchant for arriving early, he must've been here at 11.30am. I checked my phone - he didn't even send a message saying he was already there or asking me where I was when my session was supposed to be done 45 minutes ago. He just sat there patiently and fell asleep.
He looked handsome, as always. He's been tired from work, business and family stuff lately, but at that moment he didn't even look haggard. He just looked peaceful.
I tapped his shoulder and he slowly opened his eyes. He smiled softly when he saw me, and took the bottle of water he'd bought with him to offer me a drink.
And suddenly I remembered everything that made me fall in love with him. Everything that is making me stay and try to work things out even during the time when I feel like our relationship is at its lowest. Because even when I'm not at my best, he still wants to make me feel loved.
I kissed his cheek. He looked at me in surprise then grinned. And then we got up and he held out his hand for me to hold.
"Tara na."
We are still very different. I still don't know how to sort out all my issues and all our issues. And we still have couple's therapy after this.
But I'm 100% committed to making this work.
