feeling ko lang

and time is taking its sweet time erasing you


 "Happy birthday Jens!"

"Thank you dear. It's been a while, we must catch up again!"

She knows she should leave it there, but she can't help but click on the Jens' page and see. It's the same pictures he used to post years before, of his girlfriend and their children. People who welcomed her into their family, people who for a long time she always thought would be her own family. 

People who are now strangers with whom she shares distant memories. 

Jackie is beautiful as ever, and busy with the bakery. There's pictures of the kids all over and some of trips abroad. And then... there's one from Danielle, with the man she used to call Love - the one Danielle now calls Babe.  

Jackie leaves a joke in the comments, a funny quip about Danielle, and Babe reacts with a laugh. It stings. Of course, Jackie has always been kind, it's no surprise she would welcome Danielle the way she welcomed her into their family years ago. But it's just... different, to see them all happily moved on while she is all alone. 

She closes the app.

, by

supermarket flowers


You write this in your car

Heart pounding like brass drums

Stomach churning and vomit rising up your throat

Three unopened pregnancy tests on the passenger seat


You'd like to think you're just overreacting

The numbers should be on your side after all

Why did you have to search what certain things mean?

It could be a many things

What are the odds that it's exactly the one you don't want?


You think about yourself

How this will change your world, at a time when you want stability

You think about him

How you have no doubts about him, but you are not sure about you two

You think about your mother, your friends

What all of them are going to say

You think about all those strangers who wrote about getting knocked up when they don't want to be

And you almost want to laugh bitterly because God

You almost told them off, only to find yourself here now


You wish with everything you have that you're just overreacting

That things will stay the way they are

The only thing to do now is

Find out


, by
forgetful

you look happier, you do

 


, by