this is why calcutta is a crazy hospital

ER experience No. 1: While being injected with meds

Guy Nurse: So san ka nag high school? You look really familiar, baka naging school mates tayo.
Me: No I don't think so.

ER experience No. 2: While waiting for the doctor to prescribe meds

Girl Nurse: Kailan ang unang patak ng huling period mo?
Me, inwardly: Kailangan talaga 'unang patak?' Malay ko kung Friday night 11pm or Saturday morning 1am. For the record it's not like I just sit somewhere and wait for it.

ER experience No. 2: While waiting for the meds to be injected

Fat Guy Nurse: I-iinject yung gamot ha?
Me: Okay, sa vein nalang sa side ng wrist.
Fat Guy Nurse: Hindi, hanap tayo ng mas magandang ugat. (Settles for vein at the back of my hand. Inserts needle, figures out he did it wrong, pulls out needle. Inserts it again, still doesn't like how it looks, pulls out again. Inserts needle one more time, even worse than before, pulls out yet again.) Ang liit ng ugat mo.
Me: Get away from me.

baby


And just like that, I'm your baby.

Which is totally unfair because no, you don't 'baby' me.

Fine, maybe you do sometimes.