Sunday, November 27, 2011

Logic will break your heart.

There is an exact moment in time when you hold a sea shell by your ear and you no longer hear the ocean.

The last time you saw him was three years ago, at an Avatar showing. He was with Rob and you were with Al. You saw them at the cinema queue and debated with yourself whether to walk up to them or not. It's not like you were ashamed of Al or anything, but you thought that if you approached them and introduced your orgmate, he might wonder if you and Al were going out. And for some reason you say you never really knew, you didn't want him to think that.

And so you walked away.

Tonight is different. You are tired as hell, almost zombie-like as you grudgingly trudge the long stretch from Sbarro to Cyberzone, but you are alone.

He is walking to the other direction, but he is alone as well.

Your heart skips a beat and this time there is no debating with yourself. Something strong and strange and scary just takes you over and you know that you aren't going to fight it. You don't want to, and even if you did, you know that you can't fight it anyway. It's like eating a Level 16 Laguna Blade, Aghanim's reinforced -at the most unexpected moment, you're hit by a brilliant flash of cerulean lightning, sending a surge of electricity rushing through your veins before it all just overwhelms you and then finally you just fade away.

Your lips part. You feel each letter of his name burning from your gut, through your throat and unto your tongue as you call out his name.

But no words come out.

His eyes never wander off his destination. He never even saw you. You try your damnedest to say his name, to say something, to say ANYTHING – but it just doesn't happen. All you can do is watch helplessly as he passes you by.

It's been five years since things began and ended, and you wonder why you still get affected so much. The only thing you know is that this is the exact reason why you clam up and push people away when they get close. You showed him your vulnerability once, and he shattered you apart.

In the end, all you are able to do is to continue walking away from him while Panic at the Disco throbs at your ears and stabs at your chest.

There’s no more that need be said
When I’m inching through your bed
Take a look around instead and watch me go

There is an exact moment in time when you hold a sea shell by your ear and you no longer hear the ocean.

Instead, if you listen carefully, you can hear the sound of your heart breaking.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

A Penny for My Random Thoughts

1. Yesterday was an epic day. I had lunch with Archer, Bong, Boss and Lawi at SM, we watched Praybeyt Benjamin at Rob and then went back to SM for meryenda which was supposed to be ice cream but since ‘Crispy Cream’ was expensive and there were no seats at 7/11, we ended up sampling Max’s Giant halo-halo. Apparently I have earned the reputation of spilling liquids. :P

We spent the whole day laughing about anything and everything, but Lawi’s interpretation of ‘Parking for the disabled’ takes the epic win. Trust my crazy orgmates to turn something supposed to be nice into a laugh trip!

Looking forward to watching The Road soon. No matter how much Boss says we never will. :)

2. Er, this sounds a bit weird, but… Well, I never knew that watching a man eat chili crabs with his bare hands could be so… um… satisfying? I swear, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. It was just… so… uh, yummy?

Gawd there must be something wrong with me. I am disturbed with myself.

3. Speaking of disturbed. We were at SM Bacoor’s Dep last week when I saw something totally unbelievable – NBA bath towels that had players’ cartoon faces printed on them! I mean, I love Dirk Nowitzki enough to declare that he’s the best thing to happen to NBA whocaresaboutMichaelfreakinJordanguycan’tshootone-leggedjumpers, but the idea of getting out of the shower and wiping myself dry with Dirk’s face is just so weird/awkward/disturbing.

If any of you my readers look forward to rubbing Kobe’s or Wade’s or LBJ’s faces into your bodies, drop me a tag and explain to me why anyone would want to do that. For real.

4. Speaking of NBA. I is so sad about the lock out. How are the Mavs supposed to defend their title when there are no games? How is a clutch team supposed to work their way up again if there are only 50 or less games this season, assuming there is gonna be a season in the first place?

 Above all, I just miss watching Dirk play. :(


Admir, Jolie, Vigoss. Arguably the holy trinity of Virtus Pro (arguably, as very possibly it’s NS, Jolie and Vigoss) which is arguably the best DotA team EVAH (again, arguably, because there’s EHOME 2010). Jolie reminds me a lot of Kenn De Vera. Ang lakas ng dating, you’d never think that he’s… not-that-tall. :)

Sigh. And where was I when VP was kicking ass? I was scolding Stalin Francisco for being too addicted to a “…stupid game…”

If I only knew what I would be doing at 2am in grimy internet caf├ęs five years later, I would have asked Stalin to teach me how to DotA. Then maybe I wouldn’t be so pathetic.

6. New record: Panic at the Disco’s New Perspective has hit 520 plays on my iPod!

7. Epic thread at

Title: GSP is not gay
Post: I believe that GSP is not gay. He is just too focused on training and he has no sexuality.
TS why did you make this thread and why am I actually posting on it?
The gayness in this thread is astounding.
I lost brain cells for reading this.

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