Friday, March 2, 2012

Ode to Anj

On the ride home yesterday, the radio station was tuned into played Panic at the Disco's But It's Better If You Do, and I remembered that time when we were freshmen and were on our way back to Kalai. We were singing this song like crazy and Mi and Jangkarl were laughing at us all the time.

I had to smile – I do every time I remember those days when we were bound by more an organization. Those days when we spent time with each other not because we had to but because we wanted to. When we laughed together not for the sake of being called united but because we were genuinely having fun with each other. When we cried together not because people turn to anyone available whenever they're sad but because we really wanted to be there for each other..

Those days when the word 'Baskal' meant true friendship.

We were probably the most fleeting of all the batches that Aguman ever had, being complete only during that one semester when we applied and being broken for the rest. I've tired of thinking what made this happen. Along the way I think I've just accepted that this is what  we become: a bunch of 'hi's and komusta na?' at chance meetings and rare appearances at org events.

Nowadays I only get to hear about you through Boss' stories. You smoke and drink like crazy now, he says. I don't have your number, and I didn't know why I didn't ask Boss for it. Maybe because I don't know what to tell you if I text you. I know you only by name now, and most likely you share the same sentiment.

But that doesn't mean I've forgotten you, or the memories you shared with me. In my bookshelf at home, there is a special place for the Slam Dunk Manga that you gave to me on my birthday when you learned that I was a Kaede Rukawa fangirl. Our fridge never runs out of Graham crackers and quickmelt cheese, a yummy snack that you and Mi taught me how to make, which until now I never fail to enjoy. And I can still remember the distinct way you laugh. :)

I am no longer a part of your life and you are no longer in mine, and that six letter word that used to bind us together now sounds so far away. But I hope that if you remember me at all, you remember me fondly, as I remember you. For no matter how far we have drifted apart, we were once there for each other, and that's all that matters.

On second thought, maybe this should have been Ode to Baskal II. 

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