The first man to leap ashore was Protesilaus.

***

“And then… tentacles…warehouse…flowing like water from the tap…”
“Honestly, I don’t even know how I’m supposed to react to this.”
“You’re supposed to get turned on.”

By tentacles?!?

***

“She says ‘po’ to you.”
“And?”
“And I’m not used to somebody talking to you with a degree of respect.”
“Fuck you.”
“No thanks, not into team-cest.”

Nor tentacles.

***

“Sino si D**? Yung classmate niyang panget ang ugali?”
“Um. Panget, at panget ang ugali.”

Oh Justin Dungca. Feel my ngala-ngala.

***

“Ayoko si Joshua… kase panget siya.”

Oh Rex Dizon. Still. The tentacles.

***

“Revision, revision? Aanhin namin ang revision? Baket, magpepresent ba kami ulet?”

Oh Eugene Velasquez. How I love you.

***

“Sana nung pinanganak ako black nalang ako.”
“Why?”
“So I’d be good at basketball.”
“Sinong black ba ang magaling magbasketball?”
“Like 99% of NBA players?”
“But Dirk is white.”
“And he can’t dunk.”
“Why do you need to dunk if you can shoot a one-legged or sink it from downtown?”

Oh Kevin Jazmines. The way you stared in disbelief.

***

“Mga katulong, mag-shopping tayo.”

Oh Gio. Your definition of ‘housewife’.

***

It was a brave deed, for an oracle said that he who landed first shall be the first to die.