Saturday, June 2, 2012

You might be my Protesilaus

The first man to leap ashore was Protesilaus.


“And then… tentacles…warehouse…flowing like water from the tap…”
“Honestly, I don’t even know how I’m supposed to react to this.”
“You’re supposed to get turned on.”

By tentacles?!?


“She says ‘po’ to you.”
“And I’m not used to somebody talking to you with a degree of respect.”
“Fuck you.”
“No thanks, not into team-cest.”

Nor tentacles.


“Sino si D**? Yung classmate niyang panget ang ugali?”
“Um. Panget, at panget ang ugali.”

Oh Justin Dungca. Feel my ngala-ngala.


“Ayoko si Joshua… kase panget siya.”

Oh Rex Dizon. Still. The tentacles.


“Revision, revision? Aanhin namin ang revision? Baket, magpepresent ba kami ulet?”

Oh Eugene Velasquez. How I love you.


“Sana nung pinanganak ako black nalang ako.”
“So I’d be good at basketball.”
“Sinong black ba ang magaling magbasketball?”
“Like 99% of NBA players?”
“But Dirk is white.”
“And he can’t dunk.”
“Why do you need to dunk if you can shoot a one-legged or sink it from downtown?”

Oh Kevin Jazmines. The way you stared in disbelief.


“Mga katulong, mag-shopping tayo.”

Oh Gio. Your definition of ‘housewife’.


It was a brave deed, for an oracle said that he who landed first shall be the first to die.

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