DotA, par Cinq Man

3:26 AM

Literally DotA, through five men. In French because I suddenly missed Georges St-Pierre’s boyish smile and I would like to reaffirm my fangirlism to the guy with possibly the most gorgeous blue eyes in the world. He doesn’t play DotA, but I do and this is my blog so run along. ^_^

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DotA, par Cinq Man

Lawi is the gentleman.

He has no qualms about harassing enemy heroes away, even taking in substantial damage from enemy heroes if he has to, just to save her sorry ass whenever she gets in trouble. He is usually able to save her because he’s that good at this game, but sometimes he can’t take all of the heat alone and she dies despite his rescue efforts; whenever that happens, he always apologizes to her, as if her death was his fault for not being a good enough lane mate instead of her fault for being a lousy DotA player. He does his best to give her instructions about what to do while the game is ongoing, and whenever she makes mistakes (and a lot of them too), he just teases her with a single exclamation of “Fail!” and then he lets it go.

Two hours later, when they are in the cab or jeep on the way home, he will patiently explain what she was doing wrong and how she should do things next time.

Archer is the honest guy.

And brutally so. Unlike Lawi, whenever she makes mistakes – a late stun, a late ultimate, a late escape – he does not hold back from telling her how pitifully exasperating her DotA gameplay is. He gives him instructions too, but one mistake later the whole internet café gets a loud earful about how weak her play is. His rants usually go on until someone else makes a mistake, and then he rants about that other player. It’s okay though, because she appreciates the fact that Archer treats her the same way he treats all his team mates, giving her none of the ‘she’s a girl, gotta be gentle with her’ crap. Besides, he is also usually the first one to point it out whenever she’s doing well or she ended up first in the Stats for a change.

He is also the first guy to talk to her about jerking off without the use of Marco Lansangan’s chemical metaphors or Rex Dizon’s ‘this-is-officially-an-awkward-conversation’ dismissal.

Bong is the quiet one.

They’ve never been early-game lane mates. He usually goes to ‘taas’ or ‘mid’ while she never goes anywhere but ‘baba’. They seldom take on enemy heroes together in mid-game as well because they perfectly accept the fact that it’s easier to kill when one is with Lawi or Archer. Bong does not give her instructions about what to do like Lawi or makes fun of her game play like Archer. He won’t say anything when they get together in a lane, but he will be cooperative when she tells him that she wants them to try killing one of the enemies; he will do his best to nuke with her, but it usually won’t work anyway. In the end they will retreat together, and throughout all this he seldom says anything.

In fact, even when he was already angry at her for giving away one of his Christmas gifts to her, and to his own room mate nonetheless, Bong never said anything.

Buduy is the reckless bloke.

He will go in anytime, all the time, no matter if it’s ten seconds, ten minutes or ten kills into the game, no matter how many or who are the enemy heroes in the lane. They’ve been early-game lane mates four times, and during all those times he was first blood. She could only watch in amazement as the guy charged forward, blatantly disregarding the fact that the green bar on top of his character’s head is quickly turning to orange and then yellow and then red, and the next thing she knows, she’s alone in their lane. Sure, Buduy tries to be supportive, taking in the heat so she’s free to rain skills on the enemies, but there really isn’t much that she can do when her lane mate is dead or running back home.

Her fondest DotA memory will always be that game when Buduy was killed by neutral creeps, of all things. Lawi and Archer have since joined the club, but the original is always the best.

Kuya Caltrops is the team-completer.

When she first started playing DotA she didn’t really like going to his shop; it was small, gritty and there were too many gamer guys who erupted into frenzied trash-talks or ally-tripping every few minutes. However, each visit there he grew from merely civil to actually friendly towards her and the team. Now they’re actually chummy and Caltrops doesn’t seem like such a bad place anymore. Now her usually day-ender is the sight of Kuya Caltrops’ curly hair.

And as long as she has this team, DotA will always be something to look forward to.

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